Coat of Many Pockets
I am heavily drawing on a book called Coat of Many Pockets. It is a book on classroom management and behaviour management and I would recommend it to anyone. These aren’t my own ideas but I am trying to write them in my own words as much as for me as for you.
A paradigm shift (for me anyway)
Before reading this book, students would come to me and I didn’t think too much about different kinds of causes of behaviours. I couldn’t choose the correct response because I lacked the appropriate analytical tools to understand the situation. Here is something I have learned that has helped me and I hope it helps you.
Can’t or won’t?
Let me present to you two scenarios
Won’t
A student is chatting to his friends in the back of the class and is being distracted towards others. Sometimes he leans back on his chair as well. There isn’t a clear reason for this happening and he shows no emotional distress.
This student is choosing to misbehave. This is not unusual and we can expect this in the classroom. Because this student is making a choice we can be assertive in this case. We can point out what is happening, and the rule they are breaking and give them an opportunity to make a better choice.
Can’t
A student yells somewhere in the classroom. They are distraught. When you come over to them they are crying and you ask what is going on. They say that they left their project overnight and somebody has changed it.
This student is showing Emotionally Impelled Behaviour (EIP). It won’t be helpful to be assertive with them right now. They aren’t in control so we need to be empathetic towards them and their situation. We need to give them space as well to calm down and find a solution themselves at some point. If we don’t, the problem will likely escalate.
With these two tools for diagnosis in mind, we now need to consider how to support these students. Our goal will be to help them to control themselves and take responsibility for their behaviours and outcomes.
When they won’t – Being assertive
Don’t confuse being assertive with being aggressive. They are not the same. To be assertive we need to be in control. This is mainly in control of ourselves. We can do this by taking space and time ourselves to ensure our response is appropriate and measured. We need to focus on the outcome that is needed. It isn’t about us and we don’t want to be authoritarian. We want an acceptable outcome for everyone.
I-Messages
These are practical frameworks for communicating with students. It is helpful to use these since using the word I can help avoid saying You are doing this, which can be intimidating and unhelpful. They are ultimately a means of self-expression which is appropriate in the class context.
The framework is as follows
- Behaviour – The behaviour that has caused the situation
- Feelings – The teacher expresses how this makes them feel
- Consequences – The probable consequences
- Opportunity – the chance to make things right
Example
When students talk over the top of me I feel disappointed because we won’t learn what we are supposed to or get time to use the iPads this afternoon as we planned so I expect to hear a quiet classroom for the rest of the time I am talking.
Statements of expectation
You can use I statements in many ways such as saying what you expect. I expect students to line up when I have asked them to.
E. C. A.
This is my personal favourite. Empathy, Content, Action. You can empathise with the situation of students, but present the reality of the situation and then them what to do. When you tell them what to do you are giving them a choice which they can accept or not. If they choose not to do what you say you may need a learning consequence like that they will pack it up during lunchtime.
Empathy can help the students feel like you care about them and what they are doing. This helps them to want to do what you say.
For example
I know you guys are having fun with this art project and I like what you are doing
But the room is very messy right now and we can’t leave it this way
So put your papers out to dry, pack up the paints and get your lunchboxes for recess. You have three minutes, thank you.
I think this works better than just coming up with something without any framework since it is easy to forget to be empathetic. If you forget, students may feel that you are against them or that you just don’t understand how important what they are doing is.
Giving choices
We always can give students choices to do the right thing. If we don’t, then we take away the opportunity for them to learn at all.
Example
Jill, I can hear you talking and it is making it difficult to teach this class. You can sit quietly, or else I will move you to somewhere where there aren’t people to talk to.
This presents a clear positive choice to make. It also is fair and a logical consequence. If she talks and gets moved, she is unlikely to debate, since this learning consequence was clearly laid out and applied. She is an active participant in this behaviour management and if she manages herself she should be encouraged because of her choice.
Students often appreciate having a choice. For example, if a student has their phone out but they are supposed to be in their bag, you could get angry with the student and take it off them. But you would probably be better off giving them a warning and telling them you will take it off them if you see it again. They might now see you as being on their side and this will help you to build trust. They will also benefit from the chance to make a good decision.
Can’t
What do we do with students who can’t behave? I remember having a student who would lose control in the classroom. I tried to be assertive with him, but he would just get more mad. He couldn’t control himself or listen to reason. I look back on that and realise I could have chosen to be empathetic.
Open responses
An open response acknowledges the feeling of a person. You don’t always have to do this since students can often manage their own emotions, and if they can, you can let them. But when you can, suggest how students might be feeling. I can see you are fed up or I can see you are frustrated. If you are wrong, they will probably correct you. If it is a very intense emotion, it might be better to just say “That’s tough” because students can get even more upset about it.
Often when you give an open response, students will calm down since they know you understand and they have no need to show you that they are angry and such.
Giving time
It is a good idea to give students time. Give them space to be able to calm down and sort things out themselves. Don’t try and solve their problems for them. It won’t help since they are feeling and not thinking. Later on, you may be able to guide them to find a solution.
Open questions
The next step can be open questions. Don’t ask students why, but focus on what would help you? what do you need to do? Give them time to consider these things and figure out a solution on their own. They will feel more satisfied and achieve better learning if they figure out a solution themselves.
Conclusion
I hope that this will be helpful to you as it has been to me. When students come to me now I think about this paradigm. Are they under a compulsion that they can’t help? Then I should be empathetic and listen. Are they exhibiting negative behaviour by a choice that they could control but are choosing not to? Then I should be assertive and give them opportunities to do the right thing. I’m not claiming to know everything so do let me know if you think differently or let me know if this has helped you. Once again, the materials covered here are from the book Coat of Many Pockets by Jenny MacKay.